To exhale one’s thoughts

“Sir, your carriage awaits” Mr Hickling heard as he dashed down the stairs with his wife chasing behind. He grabbed his coat and hat whilst she was fixing her bonnet. He opened the door so she can hurry her way into the carriage. “To the Thomson’s.” He called as he slammed the door. He reached into his waist coat for his hand clock and was focusing hard to read the dials when Beatrice asked, “are we running late?”

“No we will be there at one sharp.” He replied stroking his mustache.

“You know Albert, Lilybeth Thomson makes the most wonderful bonnet designs and her friend Alannah Faber makes the most beautiful woven lace. As for her neighbor Margarete Wilmar, she makes embroideries around coloured glass, the likes I have never seen. They form quite a party. They even sell their final work, mind you they also make ideal gifts, which is reason other than good economy” Beatrice rattled on before noticing that Albert had his attention on the exterior side of their vehicle. “Albert!” She persisted.

“Yes” He replied looking clearly bemused even through his seeing lenses.

“Suppose I was to start my own pass timer. Do you think it wise?” She suggestively questioned.

“Why on Earth would one wants to embark on more work of no immediate use. You are not in short of earnings as I make more than the average income and besides you are better attending to our family than occupying yourself with  the company of lonesome women who have nothing better than to find business outside of their home away from their husbands and children. We will have non of this ventures. You make fine embroideries already and you can learn in the vicinity of your home whatever that your family might feel in need of. No need to look further afield for pastures that might be full of weed underneath ” After the lecture the carriage moved with echoing steps in its noisy ride in contrast to the silence that nested deep inside.


A scenario like the one above might be expected of times gone by, when male domination was the norm and women had little choice in the lives they lead. Early on in our marriage, I told my husband that I am no cook and that I hope he had no Middle Eastern expectations of our gender roles. He stated first that we were equal, which always gives me strength upon reflection. At times of low he might submit to his cultural views as means of control but he would soon spring back to his innate sense of equality and let me breath and carry out my thoughts and achieve my dreams with no challenges from his side. This has facilitated so many things in our life and added to my growing respect towards him. I honour a man who is not intimidated by his partner’s success nor is his confidence shattered if she found life outside of the realms of his territory.

It is a better investment for the long run for we are all evolving creatures with personalities that take a different shape at a different chronological age. Ones sense of achievement is a vital mean to happy existence that might not be apparent at first instance but suppressing such feelings could have severe repercussions. Also to push off someone’s feelings and make them inferior is not a wise alternative to a good discussion where the agreed outcome would be reached rationally rather on the expense of choking someone’s feelings and thoughts. A man might even be face with counter behaviours such as cheating, lying, and disguised intentions, due to prolonged suppression, which would eventually amount to disrespect.

It is much better to live a life of mutual growth rather than a life “where one is a weed”.

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