Resonating Words

My Aunt asked me about my experience in the NBK walkathon. She said I forgot to post something about it. I said I loved it and that I will post about it.

The day was long and I had only decided to sign up the day before the race. I was another face in the crowd but it was a nice challenge and it also was a way for me to overcome something. You see, I found out my uncle was dying of cancer and that it was inevitable and just a matter of time when he would leave us. We all hoped for a miracle but he kept getting worse. He also was accepting the idea of death as he did not wish to suffer longer.

It is hard to watch someone dye and not be able to do anything about it. I was still thinking that maybe being with scientists that I could tap into a research that would have that trial miracle drug that would save him. I did not know how I should behave. What I should offer. It seemed too early to cry yet I wanted to. I was full of hopeless frustrations.

And so I was walking while thinking about my uncle. My thoughts were in resonance between the two.

- I was walking and thinking that I simply don’t want him to dye.

I was walking and thinking that maybe I should have prepared for the race.

- Why him now, he is not ready.

Why did I join now, I am not ready.

- Maybe if he can be more positive he will be cured.

Maybe if I trained I would be better at the lead.

At the end of the line a situation that I could not improve and one that I could have seemed to parallel and stop at a similar point in time. What has happened and what was done is already in the past which suddenly lead to a moment of acceptance and another line of thoughts went through my mind. It is not about who finishes first or when the line end. Not about how ready you are  to accept or join a situation.

It is more about how you carry yourself with integrity. How you do not cheat and still keep a smile. I was reflecting on his life, ethics, code of conduct, and the love that he always showed us and thought if life was a walkathon I would give my uncle many medals for the many things he has achieved. The many smiles he caused. So the race is not about living longer. It is about the quality of that life and how you lived it. We can look back at something with regret or in celebration of a lesson to learn.

My uncle died yesterday. We were blessed for a while for having him amongst us and he will forever be remembered for the great soul that he is, a person who had an impact on so many. A face that you would notice in a crowd. Someone so hard to forget. May you rest in peace dear uncle.